2.8.06

The 20 most loathsome South Africans: Number 19: Ferdinand Rabie (winner of first Big Brother SA)

Ferdi is the guy you hated in high school because he inexplicably managed to have a lot of sex,


but you didn’t mind it so much because you knew he would turn out to be a bald, hairy drunk who shits on his own lawn.

There’s something very wrong with a world that turns someone like Ferdi into a folk hero. He has no discernable talents, not to mention a speck of originality. If your counterexample is his trademark “Wakka wakka”, DO come on. Its utter lack of wit and the way it can be used in any situation only belies a dull, undiscriminating mind. I’m willing to bet that expression is in any case not even his creation; it reeks of the type of incestuous vernacular bred in any boys’ high school. Only he found it sufficiently amusing to choose to hang on to it for the duration of his life. Small things.

Jealousy doesn’t enter into it. If reality TV game shows have taught us anything, it’s that being unable to incite jealousy can get one a long way in your quest for 15 minutes of fame. His popularity is a direct consequence of the fact that it’s practically impossible to be jealous of him. How could one be jealous of a virtual caveman? That’s why people voted for him: give HIM the fame and fortune. That way, we’re still only jealous of n people. n+1 would be too much to bear.

Non-white or non-Afrikaans South Africans look at this anti-person and assume that this is what us white Afrikaans males are all about. That we’re a bunch of dimwitted troglodytes

that drink beer all day and can sit in a house for 40 days straight without saying one, solitary intelligent thing, intent on fucking proper English concord up the ass every half chance we get.

And that’s too much to bear. Don’t even think of telling me that I am being melodramatic. In my industry it is clear to me that those not within my demographic assume we’re simpletons until we have repeatedly and tangibly proven otherwise.

But I was wrong about Ferdi: he’s actually the kind of guy that binges and takes a dump on the most public of lawns,

one that is surrounded by 17 cameras broadcasting 24 hours on international satellite television. "What!? Ferdi just shat on the lawn!? That's so sweet! Quickly, somebody give the guy a million bucks!"

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

b,

I appreciate that you are trying to distance yourself from this piece of white Afrikaner trash, but perhaps thou doth protesteth to much(eth?).

Empirical research I have conducted (which consisted solely of meeting my wife's previous boyfriends) confirms the null hypothesis held by your colleagues.

P.

Anonymous said...

I beg to differ. This collection of boyfriends must have had substance.

It takes an equal to fully appreciate a person. These guys must have been special to have had an appreciation for someone as amazing as Liezl.

I guess I don't have to spell out the implications of these words to you P.

I always think these words of Ayn Rand most eloquent. Ayn accepted the object of her love as her highest reverence and vice versa.

I assume that you have already established this veneration seeing as you are so comfortable with each other...

Anonymous said...

A word of warning: Don't take anything Paul says too seriously.

I had many boyfriends and I'm afraid to say that most of them left me on account of my Emotional Instability.

Paul only met two of my exes. Nr. 1 was very special indeed but unfortunately due to his sensitivity he could not handle this world and so went from dope to brandewyn en Coke to Pretoria. Nr. 2 was a free spirit, and there was absolutely nothing Ferdinant about him; it was just a shame about the Tourette's.

Only one of my exes resemble Ferdi: one C, a brilliant electronic engineer who sang in a choir. He was 32 and seriously looking for Miss Right. 'Impressive', I hear you say. But C revealed his true colours when he got very upset at a dinner party one night because his friends paid too much attention to me (not on account of my hotness, but because of my very interesting research on death and dying). I left with one kind word of advice: 'You should look for a girl who works in the post office'.

I ran into him months later and he said: 'You know you were right. I met this girld who works in the bank and looks like a mouse and who absolutely adores me and does not discuss herself or her work. We are getting married.'

I kid you not.

The main reason I hate the likes of Ferdi (and Tom Cruise and Mel Gibson and all the rest) is their stupid and undeserved self-confidence. Unfortunately this is also the reason why they become heroes. Don't we all want to be self-confident? Imagine having that kind of freedom, never worrying that other people think we're fools, never feeling embarassed over something stupid we did, and never feeling intimidated by our intellectual superiors? It would be like being a God.

Liezl

PS: We dont get Big Brother but there is a whole list of reality shows that I'm absolutely addicted to (to P's shame and horror). At the moment there is Project Runway, the old favourite Survivor, and Rockstar Supernova (not as good as Rockstar INXS for various reasons but mainly because of the absence of one Marty Casey, who is very much a roughed up version of tinus, don't you think?)

Anonymous said...

Resembles, that is. Only one of my exes resembles Ferdi.

But while I am here I just want to add a few things.

1. There are many Afrikaner men (and women, for that matter) who do not fit the mould. In matters of love, however, if you are looking for a man who does not fit the mould you never know what you're going to get. Hence all the mistakes.

2. As someone argued here a long time ago, stereotyping is a survival strategy. In my dealings with them I expect most students/adult learners/Afrikaner men/black people/ensovoorts to fit the stereotype because this way I'm right most of the time. This does not make me a sexist, racist or any other kind of -ist, just as long as I am prepared to revise my initial judgement based on evidence presented.

Liezl

uno de waal said...

ping vir Nico:
ek speel so elke Woensdag daar. Cool blog wat julle hierso het, ek subscribe sommer :)

b said...

food for thought:

The Big Brother winner with the most votes in the final (of all the shows ever in all the countries)

90.03%,

Ferdinand Rabie, BB1 South Africa

(wikipedia)

sessa said...

What a cynical bunch.

Anonymous said...

Sessa

Read between the lines.

Anonymous said...

We have great expectations from humanity as such.

We are merely expressing our disillusionment at each discovery of yet another individual who refuses to fulfil his/her genetic potential...

...then again, some genetic mutations have resulted in the survival of inferior alleles and unfortunately, if all our peers and associates should be blind to these competitive disadvantages and even society as a whole participates in the deification of a lesser specimen, it is easy for a naive, trusting individual to be fooled by the spin doctors of these hapless souls. We are merely the vigilant few who do not entertain these delusions.

We are simply ringing a bell on behalf of those buried prematurely by brain-washing,indoctrination and slow conditioning to mediocrity.

We all need as much guidance as we can get but we should all test every hypothesis before assimilating it as our own. We are open to discuss the miracles of science, the brilliance of individuals, folk-heroes, legends and ordinary folk who make a difference. You have probably noticed every blogger's appreciation of constructive criticism.

I know I will test my comments for any sardonic trend.

http://www.americanartifacts.com/smma/life/life.htm

Jennifer said...

Liezl: I disagree, with respect. We all, correction (I'll only speak for myself), I want more self-confidence, for as you suggest it liberates one from fear, shame, and that awful nagging sense of embarrassment that seems to plague me some days. But I definitely do not want Ferdi's kind of self-confidence, that idiotic, cocky baseless confidence. Perhaps you've not seen him in action, trust me, you will not envy him in any way.

The kind of confidence I want is well exemplified by Marty Casey. I'm surprised you didn't see this yourself. Here is an intelligent, talented guy, who has obviously worked hard to achieve the success he has, but has remained humble, eager to learn and always wanting to improve himself. And he is obviously a kind and generous person, unlike the self-absorbed . I find him absolutely irresistable because of that hint of shyness - of humanity - he still has.

Tell me, this guy tinus you mention, is he taken?, and if not, where can I find him?

Jennifer (new-comer, love this blog, still working on my profile)

Anonymous said...

Hierdie dude is my agterkleinnefie. Shame, arme ou.

le said...

Dear Jennifer (still working on your profile)

I find it my duty to inform you that this man (Tinus),that you asked about so bravely , is utterly, completely, entirely and wholly taken indeed.
You can gladly take your pick from the rest.

tinus said...

Sorry Jennifer but it's good to know there are girls like you out there.

b said...

Paul

your sample is small, and hence the outcome not that surprising. but then you at least know exactly what i'm talking about.

Liezl:

we love having you here, but now we respectfully ask that you and your bo get yourself blog profiles. if you're not sure, ask your 6 year old boy, i'm sure he'll be able to give some pointers.

:)


to all the faceless nameless:

again, we really appreciate your participation, but would love it even more if you got blog profiles, or at least consistently sign your comments with some name. it would just help us to puzzle together the various blog personas involved. i for one struggle to follow the thread of conversation.

it's a bit weird for "anonymous" to defend pattern tub like his/her own, but i don't have a clue who he/she is or what his/her previous comments were (i'm not being sardonic anon and i appreciated the gesture).

iv said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
liezl said...

Surprise!

iv said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
iv said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
a pattern tub said...

for goodness sake IV, get over yourself. your opinion stopped mattering a long time ago.

there's more written by you about yourself on this blog than about anything else by all the blog members combined.

this is a hint that something is very very wrong.

you know what you can do with your profile. i'll take some pressure off you by saying that we stopped caring weeks ago.

any reply to this comment will be deleted, the matter is now closed. at some point editorial decisions need to be made, and we're already way past that point.

YER FACTS MON! said...

To "b" (Mr.wikipedia) Jesus can' t you do a bit of yer own research hey?..I notice throughout this whole blog it's you and wikipedia..go to a library..read some original papers and books man..RESEARCH !!..all over the place you've got yer facts screwed up! Otherwise I like this blog..very interesting..

b said...

dear yer facts mon!

i'm glad you enjoy the blog.

pray tell which facts i have gotten wrong? surely you must supply an example if you're going to make such an accusation?

unfortunately i have a full-time job, i don't have time to do hardcore "research". i'm not a journalist or writer, simply an observer giving my point of view.

i know of one fact that is being disputed (see Hector Peterson post). apart from that i unfortunately don't know what you're talking about. i can't recall making any wild claims.


keep reading the blog, your criticisms/opinions are welcome.

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Anonymous said...

This 'Anonymous' shit is debilitating. I would have loved to read more of 'Liezl's opinions, if only I knew where to find them. And I'd love to take her out to dinner to hear them, but who knows where the f*k, or who the f*k she is. I suppose the same applies to me right now. F*k Anonymous!!!!